ROCKET SCIENCE!

Oh, wait, it's not. It's HOW TO FIT A BRA. Ladies, there are three very simple rules to bra fitting. Just remember front, back and sides.

So, if a bra fits correctly the wire sits flush against your breastbone between you boobs. It also, importantly, must rest on bone at the other end. It is not unusual for the wire to sit almost directly under your arm. You can test this by pressing on the wire; if your boob moves, the cup is too small.

At the back, you should only be able to pull the band an INCH away form your body. If your pal can get in too, it's too big! And also, there is no such thing as 'back fat'. I mean, who actually puts weight on ON THEIR BACK? It's flesh. We've all got it. Adjust the straps if you're uncomfortable with the shape.

Now, the straps! Contrary to popular (i.e. tabloid) belief that straps are NOT there to 'hoist' you up. They are there for balance (because we all have one bigger than the other). Eighty (yes, 80) percent of the support needs to come from the back band which is why it is SO IMPORTANT to get properly fitted.

A word on sizes. The following are round equivalents but hopefully enough to get you out to a bra store and correctly fitted! So, a UK size 10 can generally expect to be wearing a 30 back, a size 12 and 32 and so on. Also, any bra-fitter worth their salt will NOT use a tape measure. I can fit you with your coat on. I'm that good. And with any luck, so are they.

"Wait, does that mean I'm not really a size 34B?" YES. This size doesn't, in fact, really exist at all. BOMBSHELL I KNOW. It's a big fat lie. Thanks for that M&S. Think about it in real terms. So, a 34 back is approximately a size 14. At a size 14 are you likely to be as flat as a B at the front? No. Likewise 32C, 34C, 36B/C/D. And A cups? Really?! No. They don't don't exist on women's bodies.

My most common conversion? Well, before I started fitting I was, according to M&S, a 34B/36A. I'm a size twelve and a perfect 32E. But I'm not 'booby'. I often tell my customers my bra size to illustrate the myth that is 34B and they look at me and go, "really, THEY are an E?" YUP. As far as customers go, this week I've had a lot of 34Cs who have all left as a 32F. It's not a huge size. But understandably they are bowled over when I tell them their new size.

GET FITTED.

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